Survival Guide To Parents

You've been dating for quite some time and things are getting serious. You already spend all your time with him and you only see your friends (not his friends) on special occasions like birthdays or another equally important dates. You've exchanged the "L" word and now you're ready for the next step.Meeting his parents. I know you think this is the next logical step in a serious relationship but you're wrong! You need to take baby steps.



1) You met his real friends I spoke to this in an earlier blog. Read it, love it, memorize it (there's a quiz at the end)



2) Met his siblingsThis is the next logical step. Why? Getting their approval first will help you if/when his parents don't like you. I understand. Everyone's parents love you! Everyone's mom wants you to marry their son. A) Stop being so cocky. Not everyone loves you. and B) Think of it as insurance if you say or do the wrong thing when meeting them.



Lets have an example. You meet the parents and you do something bad. It could be anything. You were nervous and had too much wine at dinner, and now you've made an ass of yourself.



When you leave, his mother will call his siblings and go on about how much of a lush you were and how she doesnt think you're right for her son. If you don't have the sibling's blessing, then they will agree and feed the fire. His sister/brother will say, "Mom, I know what you mean. When we met for drinks, it looked like she had been there for hours. I think she has a drinking problem." (Maybe not that extreme but you get my point).



If his siblings did like you, then they'll be there to give you a lending hand. His sister/brother would say something like, "Mom, you need to give her another chance. I'm sure she was nervous." This will lead to his mother replying, "You're right. Maybe I'm being too judgmental."



3) Once you've wooed his siblings (and you get their approval) then you can meet his parents. Be careful though. This is your one and only chance to make a lasting impression. Screw this up and they'll be bad mouthing you behind your back. Before you meet his parents, assess what kind of son he is. Is he:



A) The scape goat. If you're dating the scape goat of the family, you need not worry. This will be a breeze. Most likely his family hates him and blames all of the misfortunes on his very existence. If this is the case you should also be worried. He's probably dating you to piss his parents off. He's so mad at his parents that he found the anti-girlfriend, wooed you, and is now bringing you home in spite of his parents. I know it sucks but you'll live. I promise.



B) Only Child.In this case, there is no need to get acceptance from his siblings. He has none! However, these parents are dangerous. Their son was either pampered with gifts and love, or his parents (just like the scape goat child) had him and realized that they gave birth to the anti-christ. This one is a toss up that I can't even fathom. Good luck.



Lastly,



C) Momma's boy.THE ABSOLUTE WORST TYPE. His mom is so critical of who he brings home that she will rain down upon you her infinite questions of who you really are. Their eyes are like a truth serum that pierce your inner thoughts. You can't block her out, SHE'S COMMIN' IN!!! She will know everything before dinner is over.



Not only will she know everything thing about you and your past, but if she doesn't like what she tortures out of you then you can say "Bye-bye" to that perfect relationship you thought you had. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will stand in the way of a momma and her son. To be fair, you never stood a chance. She probably didn't like you before she even met you.



So here is this Lending Hand offering an Olive Branch. Follow my 3 easy steps to meeting his parents and you'll be part of the family in no time!But in all seriousness. If you love him and he loves you (regardless of what kind of child is he) it won't matter in the end of what his parents think. You've already won him over and that's all that matters. You're not dating his parents or family, you're dating him. Always remember that.