Thursday, May 21, 2009

Controlling Much?

I hear it all the time. "I'm not controlling, I just want to know where he is all the time." These girls are either A) in denial about being controlling or B) think that if they admit they are controlling, they're admitting to doing something wrong.

Before I dive into my "5 ways you know you're a controlling", I always wondered what compelled you to be so controlling? I'd understand if you're dating a guy who is untrustworthy to begin with but then again...why are you with a guy whose untrustworthy to begin with?

What if you're dating a trustworthy guy? In my opinion, that means 2 things. 1) You were hurt from someone in the past and now projecting it on them or 2) You're untrustworthy to begin with and now think he's going to do what you think about doing all the time. Get over it or move on.

My 5 ways you know you're a controlling!

5) When you're out at the bars, you always know where he is, who he is talking to, who he has talked to, how much he's had to drink, and most importantly which girls have been remotely looking at him.

4) You lean over his shoulder when he's either; texting, emailing, or going through his phone in general. When he leaves his phone unguarded, like to go to the bathroom, you quickly go through his phone. Now the sad thing is that you probably have about 15 seconds to do this so you go right for the incriminating stuff. The text messages and call log. You're trying to find something to pin him on..anything!

You also go through his phone with him and ask him how he knows every Amber, Jessica, Erin, and any other girl's name you may come across. Then you grill him by asking, "Why do you need all these girls numbers?" Let it go ladies, let it go.

3) You ask him to check in with you at all times. You probably hide the controlling part by saying, "I just want to know that you're okay." But what it really means is, "I just want to make sure your dick is still in your pants."

2) You go through his Facebook account. You got his password by scheming. "Hey honey, I want to see "so and so's" Facebook profile but you're the only one whose friends with them. Whats your password for me to log into your facebook?" Sneaky. Now its like the phone but worse! You have all the free time in the world. You can play CSI Facebook all night. You investigate his profile, fine comb through his messages (sent, deleted, and recieved) , get a list of suspects from his list of friends, and the list goes on.

News flash...ITS JUST FACEBOOK. Why do people insist that Facebook is the be all, end all? For example, someone is not single until Facebook says so.

1) He has no more friends because you don't like any of them, therefore he doesn't like any of them. The sad thing is you've sucsessfully brain washed him into being your slave. You have complete control over his thoughts and everyday manurisms. You've broken him down in ways only Hitler, Stalin, and Castro has. Way to go Lucifer, you win. Now go enjoy your ball-less shell of a man.

So here is the Lending Hand perspective: If you can't trust him, leave him. If you don't trust yourself, get help and stop punishing him (who did nothing wrong).

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

It's Been a While

I'M BACK!

I know I've been MIA for a while and there's no excuse. Well there is actually, I've been doing something called work and it hasn't been fun. I would love to sit here and make new blogs all day but I literally don't have time between work, girlfriend, and my own sanity!

I remember when I first started writing these blogs I thought I'd have a plethora of thoughts to write about. 15 blogs later, I realized that this whole "blog" thing was much harder than I thought. Then, even when you try to keep your identity hidden, you tend to hurt someones feelings. You didn't intend for it to happen, but it happens. It's just something that comes with the territory.

So here we go.
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"Why does he check out other girls when I'm around!?" she cries. "Whether we're walking in the mall, eating dinner, or even in the car, he seems to look at every girl that walks by!"

Does this sound like you? Does it sound like someone you know? Every girl has known or knows this guy. I like to call him the window shopper.

The window shopper is also known, by Britney fans, as a womanizer. He always thinks the grass is greener on the other side. Sadly, he also thinks he has a chance with all the girls he looks at.

The good news? He's only window shopping. He's not buying anything, just looking around. The analogy I like to use is Tiffany's. The sterling silver stuff is you and its been your "Go-to" jewlery for the longest time! Every girl loves Tiffany's! (even though its still just STERLING SILVER) The girls that walk by are the sea of diamonds that shine and glimmer from across the room. He can't help but stare. Those are wayy too much but he thinks, "I'm just looking"

The bad news? It's only a matter of time until he thinks, "What the hell, why not?". Once you're distracted he'll go over to the expensive side of Tiffany's and instead of window shopping, hes checking out prices, looking to finance, and looking to buy.

More good news (depending how you look at it). He may be looking at other girls but he also may be looking at other guys, grandmas, little kids, mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers. You may just be noticing that he's only looking at girls, when the truth is he's looking at everyone. He just likes to people watch. I know I do. Nothing beats a nice afternoon of people watching.

People watching could, and should be, a sport. I could do it all day! I'm like a special CIA operative. I can tell you what the couple across the way is arguing about and what the family of 7 is eating 4 tables over and to the right.

The bottom line is, you need to check 3 things.

1) Is he just harmlessly window shopping?
2) Is he trying stuff on?
3) Is it just my jelous old self?

If he's option 1 or 3 then no need to worry. If option 2 is creeping up on you, refer to number 3 first and if you think you're not crazy then have a little chat.

Best of luck with your shopping endevors!