Controlling Much?

I hear it all the time. "I'm not controlling, I just want to know where he is all the time." These girls are either A) in denial about being controlling or B) think that if they admit they are controlling, they're admitting to doing something wrong.

Before I dive into my "5 ways you know you're a controlling", I always wondered what compelled you to be so controlling? I'd understand if you're dating a guy who is untrustworthy to begin with but then again...why are you with a guy whose untrustworthy to begin with?

What if you're dating a trustworthy guy? In my opinion, that means 2 things. 1) You were hurt from someone in the past and now projecting it on them or 2) You're untrustworthy to begin with and now think he's going to do what you think about doing all the time. Get over it or move on.

My 5 ways you know you're a controlling!

5) When you're out at the bars, you always know where he is, who he is talking to, who he has talked to, how much he's had to drink, and most importantly which girls have been remotely looking at him.

4) You lean over his shoulder when he's either; texting, emailing, or going through his phone in general. When he leaves his phone unguarded, like to go to the bathroom, you quickly go through his phone. Now the sad thing is that you probably have about 15 seconds to do this so you go right for the incriminating stuff. The text messages and call log. You're trying to find something to pin him on..anything!

You also go through his phone with him and ask him how he knows every Amber, Jessica, Erin, and any other girl's name you may come across. Then you grill him by asking, "Why do you need all these girls numbers?" Let it go ladies, let it go.

3) You ask him to check in with you at all times. You probably hide the controlling part by saying, "I just want to know that you're okay." But what it really means is, "I just want to make sure your dick is still in your pants."

2) You go through his Facebook account. You got his password by scheming. "Hey honey, I want to see "so and so's" Facebook profile but you're the only one whose friends with them. Whats your password for me to log into your facebook?" Sneaky. Now its like the phone but worse! You have all the free time in the world. You can play CSI Facebook all night. You investigate his profile, fine comb through his messages (sent, deleted, and recieved) , get a list of suspects from his list of friends, and the list goes on.

News flash...ITS JUST FACEBOOK. Why do people insist that Facebook is the be all, end all? For example, someone is not single until Facebook says so.

1) He has no more friends because you don't like any of them, therefore he doesn't like any of them. The sad thing is you've sucsessfully brain washed him into being your slave. You have complete control over his thoughts and everyday manurisms. You've broken him down in ways only Hitler, Stalin, and Castro has. Way to go Lucifer, you win. Now go enjoy your ball-less shell of a man.

So here is the Lending Hand perspective: If you can't trust him, leave him. If you don't trust yourself, get help and stop punishing him (who did nothing wrong).